1. A review of The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen, which is about a painfully shy chubby 27-year-old who will be set free by forces beyond her control.

2. A review of Big Girl by Danielle Steele. I’ve never read a Danielle Steel book–but–when I read this description I knew I would have to get it.

In this heartfelt and incisive new novel, Danielle Steel celebrates the virtues of unconventional beauty while exploring deeply resonant issues of weight, self-image, sisterhood, and family…

Behind Victoria is a lifetime of hurt and neglect she has tried to forget, and even ice cream can no longer dull the pain. Ahead is a challenge and a risk: to accept herself as she is, celebrate it, and claim the victories she has fought so hard for and deserves. Big girl or not, she is terrific and discovers that herself.

3. A review of Jessica Simpson’s Price of Beauty premiering on March 15th at 10 p.m. EST on VH1. Shall we watch and discuss together?

4. A review of the Oscars and all the post Oscar buzz. You think the big girls are going to take it all?

5. A discussion about the return of the “curvy” featuring Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine and the Crystal Renn spread in the lateset issue of Glamour.

~~~

Jessica Simpson is lashing out again about fat rumors in the March issue of Allure magazine. I believe we are all sick of hearing about this, and we all agree that Jessica Simpson isn’t fat at all. But, she is actually doing something more than complaining. She went on a mission to show Hollywood and the U.S. what women do to achieve, sometimes impossible, beauty standards.  Jessica developed a new reality show with VH1, Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty, where she travelled around the world to “meet every day women… study the local fashions, dietary fads and beauty regimes and even participate in some of the extreme practices she discovers.” It has also been reported that these travels have helped her developed a stronger body image.

First Lady Michelle Obama, my personal hero and working mother icon, is heading up a new National Obesity Movement, which will be a multi-layed initiative aimed at making school lunches healthier; giving children more opportunities to be active (Does this mean we’re tossing out this ridiculously handled No Child Left Behind initiative which has left no time for gym and only focuses on teaching children to past the statewide tests?); ensuring that health food is available in all communities; and giving families better nutritional information so they can make better food choices. Hmmmm? I like the ideas presented but I really dislike the name. National Obesity Movement, because it could be used negatively against any chubby to obese person. It also continues the false impression that those who are thin or within their “normal” weight ranges are healthy. This is not accurate. It feels as though this is going to turn into another fatty vs. skinny battle. I would appreciate this movement more if this were called a National Health Movement or a Healthy Living Movement, because it would be more inclusive. I don’t think Americans need yet something else to divide us.

Tyra Banks, with all her flaws, has always been a warrior for building up girls’ self-esteem. Recently, the daytime talk princess has launched a plus-size teen modeling contest. Tyra’s Fiercely Real Teen Model Search is open to girls ages 13 to 19, 5′9″ – 6′1″ tall, and size 12 through 20. I think it is a wonderful idea and girls need to see more body alternatives than what was presented at Sao Paulo’s fashion week.

Sigh! Those damn magazines are at again–giving us yet more proof that women should not compare themselves to women they see in the media! WWD reports that:

A KARDASHIAN REALITY: The new issue of OK magazine claims to have an exclusive on Kourtney Kardashian’s “body after baby,” but the package might not be as exclusive as the magazine proclaims — and Kardashian might not be as slim as she appears on its cover. The reality TV star contends she never spoke to OK for the cover story…. “They doctored and Photoshopped my body to make it look like I have already lost all the weight, which I have not,” Kardashian told WWD. She also spoke out to her Twitter followers: “One of those weeklies got it wrong again…they didn’t have an exclusive with me. And I gained 40 pounds while pregs, not 26…But thanks!” It also seems that OK has built the lower half of Kardashian’s body for its cover, as the original images were cropped at the belly. An OK spokesman declined comment. Just another dramatic day in the life of a Kardashian.

The most disturbing turn of fat events was all the attention being paid to Jennifer Aniston’s newer and seemingly more fuller figure, which was revealed at the Golden Globes. Ironically, the gossip and fashion rags always praised her “old” body as being slim and athletic but not disturbingly skinny. In other words, another body type we should envy and aspire to. Jen’s fuller and sexier bod was dubbed her “revenge body” by Life & Style magazine. It was pitting the curvier and now sexier Aniston against a now slimmer and seemingly tired looking Angelina Jolie. (I’m a mother of two with a part-time nanny, and I’m constantly exhausted. Can you imagine how hard it must be to have six kids and travel around the world as part of your job? You’d look tired too!) I hate this cooked up media war on so many levels. First off, Jennifer and Brad have been over for 5 years. Trust me, a man with six kids, a hot common-law wife, and an even hotter career doesn’t have time to sit around to pine about the ex he left. If he’s not seen with Angie and the kids, he’s usually seen palling around with George Clooney. (Do they ever look like they’re having a bad time? Ever?) And with her slew of boy toys, I’m sure Jennifer is is glad to be single and without kids. (Have you seen the studs she’s rumored to have been seeing? Bradley Cooper, Gerard Butler, Jon Mayer?)

Secondly, why is what a woman does with her body always have to do with a man? Again, where’s the stories about Gerard and Jon beefing up to impress Jennifer or Brad Pitt hitting the gym to keep Angelina from thinking about her first hubby? This sends the message that no matter how successful, confident or attractive a woman may be it means nothing if it isn’t to impress a man. Finally, I am just over the whole Angelina vs. Jennifer thing. Sure there is societal evidence that women from as young as preschoolers dabble in relational bullying against other girls, but it isn’t always the case and the media should really stop encouraging such behavior.

5. So Called Pro Health Ads Insult: In September, New York City Health Department unveiled a series of ads warning New Yorkers of the health perils of drinking too much soda and other sugary beverages. Eating balanced meals and exercising every for at least 20 minutes a 5 times a week is the ideal for maintaining a healthy body. (Repeat after me, Being Fat or Overweight Doesn’t Mean You’re Unhealthy! There are skinny unhealthy people, by the way.) We all know this to be true, but there’s no need to force it down our throats with such disgusting ads. Take a look below.

Finally, in an effort to beat people to a bloody pulp encourage people to become vegetarians, PETA posts a billboard in Florida that calls overweight women as “whales.” Besides being blatantly offensive to overweight women and men, it yet again reinforces the idea that women are just pieces of inanimate slabs of meat to be controlled or harangued or manipulated by society and advertisers into conforming to an ideal standard of beauty.

PETA's Now Infamous Ad

4. The DD Boob Tube: Some fat folks couldn’t decide if the sudden spike in fatties on TV during the summer was a plus or a negative. This year we saw a Dancing with the Stars and The Biggest Loser combo called “Dance Your Ass Off” hosted by DWTS alum and Tony award winner Marissa Jaret Winokur. (A show that I enjoyed the few times I saw it although I was always afraid that Marissa’s girdle was going to explode.) We saw the plus-sized version of The Bachelor, More to Love, which was even more repulsive because their were fat girl dating stereotypes abound. Finally, there was Lifetime’s hit dramedy Drop Dead Diva, which featured a size 16 lead character. Unfortunately, the issue of her weight came up a lot. (But DDD has won me over because of breakout star’s Brooke Elliott wonderful acting, and is pro-woman and sisterhood. It also carries the message of  that people need to stop judging people from their looks and judge them on their insides.)

3. Glamour Mag Pushes the Fat Agenda: In the September issue of Glamour magazine, there was a naked plus-sized model named Lizzie Miller that sent a shock wave through overweight, fat, chubby, chunky, flabby American women everywhere. Why? Because Lizzie was sitting naked, smiling, and looking beautiful all the while having belly overhang. To follow up on the huge amount of publicity, Glamour magazine featured a spread of seven naked plus-size models in their November 2009 issue. On the flip side, in its September issue, Self magazine doctored cover girl Kelly Clarkson’s picture by shaving at least 20 pounds off her curvy frame.

2. Is She Too Fat to Be Our Health Advocate?: Dr. Regina Benjamin is nation’s new Surgeon General. This accomplished physician was the first African-American woman selected to be on the American Medical Associations’ board of trustees and is health advocate for the poor and for women’s rights. According to the pundits and talking heads at Fox News, Dr. Benjamin is obese and thus unfit to be the United States’ head doc.

1. Riding the Fat Wave to the Oscars: The movie Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire has become the breakout indie movie of the year. Besides the controversial subject matter about a morbidly obese teen being sexually abused by both her mother and father, the movie has been receiving big time buzz for its two leading ladies. There’s plus-size advocate and funny woman, Mo’Nique, who not only debuted her late-night talk show on BET this fall but has been nominated for a Golden Globe nomination. Big screen newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, who plays the lead character, has tons of confidence and has shown to be unapologetic about her weight in interviews. She has also been nominated for a Golden Globe for best actress. Wins in those fields almost guarantees wins at the Oscar. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see someone big, proud, beautiful and different looking receive the award? Good luck ladies!

*SIGH*

Last week, I went to see my doctor about a follow-up to a blood test I had gotten in December. I went to see my general physician, because I was feeling a general physical and mental malaise as well having zero sex drive. Although I am a diagnosed depressive and am on anti-depressants, I never had a drop in my sex drive like the one I was experiencing. My doctor thought it could be a thyroid condition, so he took blood and urine. I wasn’t that worried because all my blood tests usually come back normal…. Until January 6, 2010

There was glucose in my urine. My sugar levels in my blood were high. My A1c test number was 6.5— rising to a worrisome level. My liver functioning test was slightly abnormal, and my trigylceride numbers were high. (The liver and trigylceride numbers being high was new, because I’ve always had EXCELLENT cholesterol and fat levels despite my weight.) Although my risk factors had always been high–overweight, African-American woman, gestational diabetes, relatives who are diabetic, the blood tests never showed that I was so close to the edge of being a Type 2 diabetic until now. I’m not joking when I say that I am one cookie inhalation from having full-blown Type 2 Diabetes.

I’ve always been a proponent that one can be fat/overweight/obese and still healthy despite what the media shovels to the public. I had been living proof, and there were thousands of others who were doing it too. Now, I’m not fat and healthy. I have to lose weight so I can be healthy. I feel like I’ve let my pro-Fat brethen down. I’m now the stereotype. I’m now the target of people who believe that their tax dollars support people’s unhealthy lifestyles (like overweight people don’t pay taxes). But I’m not a whiner nor a hypocrite nor a quitter! I’m fighting to get my healthy and fat status back. Type 2 Diabetes will not get me!

After I absorbed everything he said, I looked my doctor straight in the eyes and said “I’ll give you better eating, less carbs, and at least 2 days a week of exercise. What else can you suggest? Supplements, herbs? What? Because I’m not going to spend the rest of my life pricking my fingers.” He said exercise, diet, and a medication called Metformin.

“Metformin is used with a proper diet and exercise program to control high blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes (non-insulin-dependent diabetes). Controlling high blood sugar helps prevent kidney damage, blindness, nerve problems, loss of limbs, and sexual function problems.”

So, here I am 5 days later. I’m on WeightWatchers. I worked out twice already, and plan on adding a third day this upcoming Wednesday. I’ve gotten past the side effects of Metformin already. I’m feeling empowered by my proactivity. I could have been paralyzed by anxiety or self-pity or any other low self-esteem traits.

If it weren’t for my chronic condition (I’m an asthmatic), I wouldn’t have been seeing a doctor regularly because I know the horrors first hand of dealing with someone in the medical field who can’t see past your weight (or gender or race). I also know many may Fat Advocates feel, like I originally did, that somehow losing weight is a betrayl of principles. It’s not. Losing weight for health reasons doesn’t mean you suddenly have to get “skinny.” Check out below.

“We have seen a consistent pattern in our weight loss studies that when patients lose 5%-10% of their body weight, they lower blood pressure, reduce LDL ["bad"] cholesterol, improve glucose tolerance, and in general, lower the risk for cardiovascular disease,” says Catherine Champagne, a researcher with Louisiana State University’s Pennington Biomedical Research Center.

This excites me, because I know soon I will be able to spit in the eye of convention again and be fat and healthy!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/213807

We all have seen what little girls with low self-esteem grow up to become–plastic surgeon addicts, promiscuous, drug or alcohol abusers, or medicated depressives.

When I became a mother for the first time, I made a conscious decision to praise all my daughter’s abilities and her looks. I promised myself I wouldn’t comment on her weight; call her hair nappy; or prevent her from pursuing a career or hobby that was perceived as just male-oriented. As much as I doubt my mothering abilities, I don’t think anyone can say that I don’t build my two daughters’ confidence in their abilities, smarts, and looks up on a near daily basis.  Both my daughters, Dew and Jo-Jo, are being raised as feminist as possible.They both are going through a princess phase, and love their dolls and tiaras but every now and then they will play smash ‘em up with their trucks. Dew takes ballet, but loves the kung fu antics of Mulan. Jo-Jo’s favorite catchphrase is from a Barbie version of the Three Musketeers that’s on DVD. She’ll shout “Don’t mess with the dress,” before she pummels her pretend enemy.

Lately, my beautiful African-American children have been obsessed with Barbie and all of Disney’s “yellow-hair” princesses. They were dressed as Tinker Bell and Barbie for Halloween. When we read picture books together, they immediately point to the fairer-skinned characters and shout “that’s me!” This makes my and my husband’s skin crawl, but we avoid getting on our Black is Beautiful soapbox to lecture our preschoolers. We keep reminding ourselves that this is a phase, and gently remind our daughters that “everyone is beautiful no matter the color of their skin or hair. Everyone is beautiful no matter what they wear. We are all beautiful all day every day.” We think it is starting to sink in a bit, because our young Jo-Jo will reply “Everyone is beautiful” when I play to her “Do I look beautiful?” game after she gets dressed.

Despite the general acceptance of the Obama family, the United States’ representation of beauty is still pretty narrow-minded. (And, not to air Black folk’s dirty laundry, but our own representation of beauty is still pretty narrow-minded as well.) Because of this, it was very important to me that my daughters saw the new Disney princess movie The Princess and the Frog. The movie features Disney’s first African-American princess and black people of all hues from tan to chocolate. The movie also introduces an element of American culture that is distinctively Black– Jazz. I applaud Disney for making a multi-layered, culturally sensitive (albeit extremely subtly) movie with an African-American protagonist.

Mulan, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and The Princess and the Frog (Frog) have strong women characters who eschew common beliefs about a woman’s place. All the young ladies weren’t yearning for a prince to rescue them, but a chance to live their lives as they saw fit in spite of society’s constraints. These movies are almost counter cultural if it weren’t for Disney’s incredibly girlie-girl marketing. Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, was an avid reader but do we see Belle book lamps and book marks flooding the shelves of Toys R Us? Or Mulan swords? At least the tea sets and serving sets that bear Tiana from the Frog’s likeness are appropriate, because she wants to open a restaurant.

Princess Tiana as a little girl with her parents

The Princess and the Frog is a good movie for little boys and girls of all races for it teachers the value of hard work, inner beauty, and teamwork. It is a good movie for my daughters because it gives them positive images of fat/fuller-figured people and a brown-skinned beauty to add to their growing repertoire of beauty. Basically, the movie gives them balance.

Disney Markets Black-Haired Beauties...Finally

1. Part 2 of my Year in Fat which will include the new anti- soda commercial, the movie Precious, and Mo’Nique’s Golden Globe nomination;

2. A brief review of The Princess and the Frog, and why it was important for me to buy every piece of Princess Tiana merchandising for my daughters (also a look at the new more realistically shaped dolls);

and

3. My hair.

Have a Merry Christmas!

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is an independent documentary in which a 300lb. filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya takes the audience on a journey through international fat subculture, giving fat women from four counties an opportunity to have their say. Despite many glares, glances, and gloating from media, family members, medical communities and the public-at-large; fat women from four countries (England, France, Russia, and the United States) tell their tales of sorrow and success, wow and woe; discussing size discrimination, political activism (fat and size acceptance), and social networking communities. These fat women show how they need to rise above what the world thinks of them and point out their ability to overcome society’s condemnation through compassionate perseverance. In essence, fat girls float because they do not let their weight ‘weigh’ them down.

BEFORE

Beauty is hard to define, but it is one of those things that society knows when it sees it. However, in the United States of America, our society is so diverse it is hard to give one solid definition of beauty that every person can accept. As a Black woman raising two little girls in a culture where the beauty culture is still predominantly defined by white people, I am worried that I am unable to make them realize that their skin and hair is as beautiful as anyone else’s. Currently, this is really bothering me because my daughters are obsessed with Cinderella, Tinkerbell, and Barbie. My oldest daughter dressed as “yellow [hair]” Barbie for Halloween; the youngest dressed as Tinkerbell. Although they have brown-skinned Barbie dolls that they adore, I am still worried about what is going on in their little minds?

A Study on Beauty Standards

My youngest daughter is 2.5 years-old, and she loves Cinderella. Jo-Jo is now going through a phase where she doesn’t think she is beautiful or pretty unless she is wearing a dress and shiny “tap-tap” shoes. Even with constant reassurances of her intelligence AND beauty from since she was born, she will cry “I not beautiful”  if she’s in pants. My oldest daughter is a little more reasonable, but also feels more beautiful in a dress. I don’t know if it is because they’re living out some type of princess fantasy or if they truly believe they’re ugly if they’re not dressed like a 12″ fashion doll. I try not to overreact, which is really hard since I am an over-reactor, because I don’t want them to think that this a big deal or create some type of neurosis. But, admittedly, I am sending mixing signals. I wear make-up and adore wearing sparkly accessories. I don’t feel less beautiful when I’m not made up or wearing my costume jewels, but it is obvious that I feel better when I do.

My daughters like to watch me get ready for work. They want to be like Mommy. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I’m looking at 70-pounds of flattery every day. My oldest is more into my routine than my youngest, because I used to sit her on my bed and put on make-up before I got pregnant with her younger sister. At just 16-months, Dew would help me rub on my scented lotion. Dew, now 4, likes it when I allow her to wear bit of my lotion or perfume because they “smell beautiful like Mommy.” (Insert here me reassuring Dew that she smells beautiful even without Mommy’s lotions. She’ll chime in “you too, Mommy!”) Dew and Jo-Jo like to take the brushes and swirl it around their faces. They really like putting on lip gloss, and look forward to Mommy painting their toe nails. It’s hard to explain to them at this age that I like to this because it is like playing dress-up everyday, not because I’m not beautiful without it. They see it as part of being a grown up woman–something that has to be done when they’re adults.

There’s also the matter of hair. Black women have issues with their hair that has been passed down to their daughters like it was built into our genetic code. From the moment hair spouted on their heads, I’ve always brushed it while whispering the kind words that their hair was beautiful. Dew’s hair is thick, coarse, and can hold a style. Jo-Jo’s hair is thick, soft, and can’t hold a style. Some Black folks would call Jo-Jo’s hair “good hair,” because it is soft and can be combed with minimal effort. (I don’t let these folks speak that in front of my kids.) I am a natural hair woman. I’ve never had a chemical in my head to straighten it. My mom was adamant that she didn’t want me to have one. Besides the hot comb, the world of Black hair care was a near mystery to me. All I knew is that it required lots of products, trips to the beautician, and you shouldn’t admit to having a weave. (Well, back in 1986 it was still taboo.) In college, I learned a style that I could maintain that was natural, and I cut it off once I became a mom. Although the double strand twists that became my trademark was easy to maintain, it took a long time to do.

Recently, I tried to trim my medium-sized Afro and ended up bald (long story) and now I am wearing wig that mimics black, relaxed

AFTER: Getting Wiggy with It

& curled hair. My wearing a wig, or “pretend hair” as my daughters call it, has caused another level of stress for me. Dew, from what I intimated from her simple vocabulary, is upset by my bald head for it is more closely cropped than her father’s. This morning, I dared to go to the laundry mat in just a hat without the wig, and she freaked out.

After a firm yet sensitive Mommy-daughter chat, she revealed that my wig was “more fun” to look at and that I should wear it all of the time. Not wanting to upset her any further, I made her a promise that I would wear my wig whenever I go outside and a pretty scarf on my head whenever I was in the house so she wouldn’t have to see my head until the hair grew back. This made her happy. I was the “bestest” Mommy again, but I was also a disappointed Mommy on the inside. This could have been a prime time to introduce a conversation about the sin of vanity, and make a declaration to embrace my Capt. Picard ‘do in and out of the house by tossing down the wig. But, after weeks and weeks of trying to teach my girls that everyone is a beauty despite what is judged as acceptable, I ended up teaching them that you should cover up parts of yourself that may offend others’ sense of what is beautiful.